Well, I promised that I would try and write at least one blog-post a week. So here we go, Sunday night has rolled around. I rock at procrastination.
Go me.
This week was extremely difficult for me. I was struggling with trying to teach 3-year olds and 9-year-olds in the same exact classroom-- when they are on such different levels and the little ones always seem to wreck havoc wherever they go. I plan simple lessons, the older kids get bored. I plan more "exciting" complex lessons, and then the little ones can't figure it out at all (down by the banks? Button Button who's got the button? Too much.) I was planning so many lessons, putting so much time into them, only for them to turn out a total disaster because here is Mark grabbing the pencils and throwing them across the room, Sophia climbing on the table and jumping around, Diana barking like a dog, Zurab screaming "I want to play hide and seek!" Igor demolishing the glue sticks... and me, trying to control 7 kids at once. I was so frustrated, I was homesick, I was exhausted.
(Jess, you remember the post you wrote about "free ones" not too long ago? I always seem to remember that when I am having a bad day. :) This happened to me a lot this week--and it made me think back to your words...)
Particularly, Monday.
It was one of those days where you just don't want to wake up, you take forever to just get out of bed after the alarm rings and you drag your feet the whole morning.
But I knew this attitude wouldn't get me far at all. The day would already be hard, why was I making it harder by having such a pessimistic, drag-your-feet attitude? I said a prayer that I would be able to cheer up and have optimism and hope for the day... and even just to get through it. And of course, the Big Man Upstairs was looking out for me. He always seems to do that. No matter how pessimistic or ridiculous I am being, He always seems to find a way to get me to just... look up. And on they came, free ones, one after another, in almost perfect time, as if it wasn't real life at all but some broadway play with perfectly timed entrances and scenes and dialogue.
1) As I was walking the half-hour walk alone to go take my 40 minute trip by metro to the school, the clouds opened up for just a moment. The SUN literally SHINED ON ME. It wasn't just some sunlight in the distance, no, it was actual sunlight right there shining right smack on the middle of my face. Thank you, I thought... thank you thank you thank you. It was there just for a moment, and then retreated back into the huge grey clouds, but that moment was all that was needed to spark something in me.
But of course, that was not the only thing. I kept trudging along.
2) Next thing I know there's a girl walking my way. She looks right at me and just smiles. I was so taken off-guard, because this NEVER happens. I haven't seen someone smile at me in public at all since being here, yet it happened just then as I moped along.
3) After I got on the metro, an older man started playing an accordian and another man accompanied him on his saxaphone. It was so festive and genuinely Ukrainian sounding, It couldn't help but cheer me up. Accordians hit me close to home, as my dad plays the accordian every year on Christmas Eve. And if any of you have ever read The Book Thief, well-- enough said.
I gave the old man 50 Kopec (basically nothing...) and he stopped walking, turned towards me and just smiled, thanking me graciously. Two smiles in one day?
4) Christina, my head teacher, suddenly called me and said she'd be able to come help me as I taught, so I wouldn't have to supervise all of the children alone after all.
5) I arrived at the school, started the attempt at teaching. Snack time rolled around. As I sat there reminding the children English Only! No grabbing! Hands to yourself!, feeling a headache coming on and a sick stomach, one of the little boys walked over to me and pulled out this huge chocolate candy bar. He is new to the program, and doesn't speak English very well, but he handed it to me and said, "For you, Miss Kait."
Just wow.
.....Thank you.
So, by the end of the day, my mood was such a stark contrast from before. I was still exhausted, and still very much homesick, but I felt so much peace, and I was just in a good mood. (Also, I now had a chocolate bar. Enough said.) I had started out that day feeling so incredibly discouraged. But the Lord helped me to keep stepping along and to smile. I am so grateful for that.
In all, teaching has become easier. I am learning how to implement discipline without being the evil teacher who makes little kids cry. I am learning to be firm, to actually be an effective teacher instead of just a babysitter. And I have had to rely on the Lord completely through it all, because how in the world could I ever do this alone?
This is one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life, but I am simply blown away by the growth I have experienced in just 3 weeks alone (Has it really been that long?) I learn something new every day, I find deeper resolve within me to be better. I see things that break my heart, people on the metro, homeless people, homeless animals. People with missing limbs, people just trying to make enough money to buy a little bit of bread to get through the day. But I see so much good out there, too. I am more perceptive to the little things. The young woman giving up her place for a Babushka on the Metro. A man helping another woman pull a heavy bag up some stone steps...just little things I never would have noticed before but things that seem to make my day go a little better.
Sorry for the cheese, that's another thing I've realized upon coming here- I'm just an extremely cheesy person, and there's no getting around it! But whatever. That's just me. So, here's to more of the "sappy hallmark-movie" sort of posts to come (as Michelle puts it!).
Spakoyna Noche,
Katya
Oh, and by the way. I may have told most of you that I had made an exception here, and I liked the cat (my host family has a cat named "Poosha," or, translated, "Fuzzy")
I have recently come to the conclusion that, in fact, that was just part of the honeymoon stage.
As I sit here about to go to sleep and hear this little familiar noise in the distance... It starts to get louder and yes, there it is....Mweeeow! MWOAW! RAW! Screeeech in the distance, um, try every single night... yeah.....
I hate the cat.
